Getting Unstuck · Part One

The Unstuck Loop Map

Stuckness is rarely one big problem. It is usually a loop: discomfort asks for movement, avoidance buys relief, relief teaches your nervous system to reach for avoidance again, and the cost keeps growing. This tool maps your loop in your own words, then finds the point where you can cut it.

Watch the episode
The episode this tool comes from. The loop is much easier to see in your own life once you have seen how it works.
Five sentences, one small action. About six minutes.
Step 1 · The want

What do you want?

Be concrete. Not "better". Name it. The business with paying clients. The healthy body. The finished manuscript.

Step 2 · The discomfort

What shows up when you move towards it?

Write the feeling, not the essay. Fear of being seen. Doubt that it will work. The heaviness of not knowing where to start.

Step 3 · The avoidance

What do you do instead?

The thing you reach for when the discomfort arrives. Reorganising your files again. Research that never ends. Saying yes to everyone else's work. Your phone.

Step 4 · The relief

And for a moment, it works.

Avoidance always pays something, or you would not keep choosing it. Name what it buys you. The pressure drops. You feel productive. The fear goes back to sleep.

Step 5 · The cost

And what is it costing you?

The loop's last stop. The months passing. The confidence thinning. The want still standing exactly where you left it.

Step 6 · The cut

Now cut the loop.

The loop is cut at the avoidance, with contact. Two minutes of contact with the real thing, before the avoidance move gets its turn. Small enough that the discomfort does not win. What is your two minutes?

Almost there

Your map is ready.

Your Loop Map opens on the next screen, drawn in your own words, and I will also send it to your inbox for the next time the loop starts turning.

Your Loop Map

This is the circle you have been walking. Read it from the top. The teal panel is where you cut it.

01 · The discomfort
02 · The avoidance
03 · The relief
04 · The cost
↻ and back to the top
The cut · two minutes of contact

Watch the episode again

Watch the episode
Part one of Getting Unstuck: How to Break the 4-Step Loop That Keeps You Stuck.

The loop was never a character flaw. It is a pattern, and patterns that can be seen can be cut.

Much love,
Francois